How to mend broken trust following divorce

Learning to trust again is one of the biggest challenges people face after divorce or separation.  Even if you have never had trust issues in the past, the break-up of a relationship can leave you feeling mistrustful, particularly if you were the victim of infidelity and/or broken promises.  Although meeting someone new can be exciting, you may be wary of trusting them because of what happened in the past.  However, you CAN learn to trust again; you just need to be confident in your own ability to judge.  Mistrust can lead to you feeling that your new partner does not really love you or that they may leave you. 

You need to explore whether your mistrust stems from reality or whether it is a response to what happened in the past.  Many relationships are ruined by unfounded mistrust. If you learn to believe that your partner loves you, you can learn to trust your instincts and your judgment, you can learn to trust your partner. 

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How to repair broken trust

  • Ask yourself if your lack of trust is due to something your partner has done, your own issues or a combination of both
  • Trust your own intuition
  • Think about the negative impact your reactions could be having on your relationship
  • If your partner has let you down, don’t automatically assume it was deliberate; everyone makes mistakes
  • Give your partner a chance to explain; listen to their side of the story
  • With time, you can learn to trust again.  You can learn from past hurts and betrayals

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